My name is Andrew Joyce and I write books. Denise has been kind enough to allow me some space on her blog to talk about myself. However, seeing as how I’m rather shy, I’m going to let my dog, Danny the Dog, do the honors while I go out for a beer. But please note that Danny is full of himself and I’m not quite the idiot he makes me out to be.
Danny Feels Sorry for His Fans and Writes a New Story
Okay girls! I know you’ve missed me and I have missed you. But please—stop sending me letters, emails and videos begging me to write some more of my adventures.
Wait; let me back up for a minute. For the few humans on the planet who don’t know who I am, allow me to introduce myself by paraphrasing Mick Jagger. I’m a dog of wealth and taste, pleased to meet you. My name is Danny the Dog, a heartbreaker to all females . . . human and canine alike.
Now back to business. You girls are in luck; I do have a new adventure for you.
My latest exploits started on a dark and stormy night. (Wouldn’t you know it?) My human was at the computer, pulling his hair out because he had been editing his latest book. That’s the reason I haven’t been writing lately. My human, whose name is Andrew, was hogging the computer, so I was going to bite him. Then I remembered that he was my sole source for getting food. (Andrew and I live together on a boat and we share a computer.)
Anyway, after a year of research and writing and three months of working with his editors, ol’ Andrew was coming apart at the seams. It wasn’t all the work that was getting him down, although he is very indolent. It was the fact that he thought no one would ever read his genius work. His word, not mine.
So just before he fell apart completely, I gave him my patented one-bark command and took him for a walk to calm his nerves. When we returned to the boat, I hopped up on the bench in front of the computer and wouldn’t make room for him.
I barked at Andrew, telling him to go to bed, and like a good boy, he obeyed. Then I stayed up throughout the night fixing his mess. And I must say that I’m hell-on-wheels when it comes to writing.
When I had finished saving his career (career?), I emailed the now genius work to his agent.
If he had sent the book off as written before I got to it, you would never have heard from Andrew Joyce again. But with my paw prints all over the novel, look for it on the New York Times bestseller list any day now. And when they make it into a movie, I’m going to play the lead! (I wrote in a part of a hero dog just to give his stupid story some credibility.)
Well folks, that’s it for this go-round. Now that I have more access to the computer, look for my next modest adventure: Danny the Dog Saves the World! As are all my adventures, it is 100% true.
- S. For the few of you who might care, Andrew’s book is entitled MOLLY LEE and is available everywhere. Here’s a link to Amazon http://geni.us/o3g (I’ve included this Post Script because I feel sorry for the old guy.)
- P. S. Andrew has asked me to tell you that his last book, REDEMPTION: The Further Adventures of Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer, hit #1 on Amazon in two different categories. To which I say: Big deal!